Time flies. It’s been so long since I last blogged. I was so busy. So many things have happened. One day I will blog all those that has happened over the past fee months: our taiwan trip, bintan trip, baby K’s first indoor playground trip as well as her first gym class.. bday celebrations etc.
Today is 1st Oct 2017. Baby Kay is officially 1year and 3days old. For the past one year, all my time has been spent either working (teaching yoga) or taking care of baby Kay. Time spent on mat was scarce and was possible only when my husband Willy is available on my off days to take care of Kay on my behalf.
Before the arrival of Kay, right up to before I gave birth i was still practising regularly. At least 2-3times a week, even when my belly looked like i had 5 babies inside.
This was taken probably when I was 38weeks pregnant?
Things changed however after baby K came. Please don’t get me wrong. I have no regrets having baby k at all. She’s the best thing that has ever happened to me and I will give up anything just for her. Kay has taught me to meditate and practice yoga as I go about doing my daily stuff. Yoga is more than asana and should not be restricted just on the mat. It’s about staying at the present moment and enjoying the moment.
However with the constant carrying baby around and juggling with my teaching, my back was starting to hurt and I could feel that my physical body was not as strong as before. Also I really love being on the mat – the feelong of disconnecting with the outside world and just focus on my own body, my breath!
Willy has always asked me to go practice at least once a week even if he’s not free to look after kay. He seems to think that it is fine for my mom to look after her for a few hours. My mom is a super mom and grandma. Everyday Monday to Fri she looks after my now 2years old nephew and when I’m out teaching she helps me look after my baby k too. Anyone who has kids should know it’s not easy to juggle with 2 babies and to manage all the housework. Because of that I refused to get my mom to babysit k just for the sake of my own “me” time. Mummy had worked hard all her time. She deserves her own ME time. She most probably didn’t have her ME time when we were kids. How could I so selfishly do that to her. 我生，我带， 我养。
And so for the past 1year, never had I left baby Kay with my mom to just go and enjoy myself. From grocery shopping to meeting up with friends and to all my 3 overseas trips, I carry her with me. Sometimes my knees and back hurt – from carrying her as well as the lack of my yoga asana practice to keep my body fit, but never did I think of asking my mom to look after her as long as I can bring her with me.
However this time round, encouraged by my mom and Willy to spend time for myself, I decided to sign up for the 30days bikram challenge. My intention for the challenge hence is to spend 3hours each day for myself – because I love myself enough to spend just 3hours for myself. Because if I cannot even love myself to spend time for myself, how can i possibly love others?
My heart is filled with gratitude today. Grateful to have so many loved ones with me. My mummy, my husband, my baby and all my family and friends. Today is the first time since baby Kay was born that I left her with my mom for my own ME time.
When the time comes to leave the house today, I almost gave up coz baby k was sticking to me. But my mama armed with food and toys, came and took over Kay from me. And so I managed to make it for my 1030am class.
Even though today’s practice was very hot and tough but I had a happy smiling face all the time because my heart is full of joy from being able to practice as well as gratitude for having such a strong supportive family.
And so after the awesome class, I went back home quickly to my dearest baby Kay. Took her out for dinner and she was really happy! It’s her first time wearing shoes and shopping 🙂